My husband has changed! Is it worth working on?
by Kaleigh R.
So, my husband and I have been together for 3 years and been married for almost 1 (October 10th). We got pregnant very earlier in our relationship, our son is 2 (Do the math, lol:) Lived together for 2 1/2 .
Anyways, in the beginning we were obsessed with each other. Always wanted to be around and together. Recently, he does not care about ever spending time together or seeing how important time together is. Both of our families live 5 hours away, so we never go on dates anymore. He also works 3 jobs. His main job (LED Tech) Monday-Friday gets home at 3, then from 3pm on Fridays to 4am Saturday he works security at a bar. Then on Saturday 4pm-12am he works his other job as a manager. I work here and there and when I do my husband will go to the gym and drop our son off at daycare for 2 hours which I am not happy about.
When I do work, I work with his best-friend's Girlfriend and he will always compare me to her without knowing it. He will always talk about how she handles situations at work, and how I should do what she is doing. He knows her coffee order, whenever there is drama he knows about it because he talks to her. Makes me feel left out. I know he is not cheating on me with her, but it makes me feel like crap ,all his remarks about how "perfect or professional" she is.
I know he is stressed out and tired from working all the time, plus add stressing about bills on top of that, but I do believe my son and I deserve some undivided attention. When he is home with us, he only gives like 25% of him.
I don't know what to do? I have told him and he will try for a couple days and then give up? He is not spontaneous or thoughtful anymore. When we do get a date, never puts thought into it. We have sex maybe once every week, and it's just okay. Not how it was when we were first together. He used to care if someone hit on me, not so much anymore.
I don't feel loved or wanted. I feel like a lonely wife, I pray my son does not feel the same way. Help! Is it worth working on anymore. Is it just "growing pains"?
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist