My husband has turned against me
My marriage is over.
I doubted it from the moment I stepped foot in my husband’s house, but it became more apparent after the birth of my daughter eight months later.
However, I should say, it’s only me in this situation and not my husband. Because he is still in a marriage. With his mother.
At first, it began with constant interference from my mother-in-law in the clothes I should wear or the places we should visit together. It slowly built up to include how lacking I was and how superior she was in things like cooking or maintaining a friend circle or shopping. I was also constantly compared to my sister-in-law who was just better than me in everything imaginable. I didn’t take any steps against this bullying initially as I wanted to give my marriage my best and I believed that once I endure this initial rough phase successfully, all will be well. But things only started getting worse and it reached a point where I had to involve my husband.
My husband and I had a love marriage and initially, it had been difficult for me to convince my parents for this marriage as my husband has a genetic condition leading to night blindness and limited light vision in both eyes. When I spoke about my feelings and experiences to him regarding his mother and sister, I was shocked by the way he dismissed my emotions and turned the tables on me, saying that it was I who was ill-treating his mother and that he was going to step up and put me in my place if I continued this behavior.
This was also the time when the filthy language started. Since then, I have been called a bitch, an asshole, a maniac, a mentally unstable person who needs to turn to prayers to calm her mind, a manipulator, a person who over-reacts and over-analyzes stuff, and a person who is trying to turn her daughter against her grandparents. He has also told me that if I don’t behave well with his family, then I will be punished and will have to face the consequences. All efforts to sit him down and have a heart-to-heart conversation have ended in turning the situation around and putting the blame on me.
I have lost all hope in saving the marriage and I will not walk out as I don’t think it will be fair to my daughter to do so.
Is there absolutely any advice that you can give me based on my situation?
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist