My husband's granddaughter
My husband and I have been married for 11 years, his granddaughter is 14. We have visited the dad who is a single father a few times but they have never been here. Two years ago the child came for Christmas which he purchased her thousands of dollars worth of things. So since every summer and every Christmas she’s back. I’m good with her visiting.
My problem when his granddaughter arrives my husband changes towards me and everyone. I can’t ask him to do anything go anywhere etc. My husband takes this child out for dinner every night and will not call to ask if I want a soda pop or anything. Yes I do cook she likes to eat out. I don’t have to tag along but at least ask if I want something, this is our norm when the child isn’t here. My husband is normally on with asking and so do I.
This has been going on for a few years. So I bought it to his attention. We had words.
Last the granddaughter got here in April and left in late June I purchase a $300 Pair of shoes several years ago, I can not find my shoes. I looked for a month before I bought it to his attention. So he and I looked still no shoes. So I asked if he thought his granddaughter may have my shoes. This man went off I ll buy her shoes and anything she wants. My husband went on and on . She don’t have to steal on and on. I was a kid before I feel as if she could have giving them to a friend her mom or anything. I don’t know. All I know my shoes left with the child.
I have taken his granddaughter out shopping, I have also taken her out for Starbucks and ice cream with my nieces
No one else been here in this house but us three, and he called ask her she said no.
Now he doesn’t want to buy me a new pair doesn’t want to help me buy a new pair.
We are not talking he feels that I don’t like his granddaughter and the shoes just walked out .
Last I come from a large family and we are very close which my family includes my husband in everything. We have lots of kids and we were not bought up to buy kids. We assist them and we believe in earning things, and treating them equal.
Just complicated to see new changes and feel as if my hands are tied.
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist