My relationship overall with my boyfriend
It's a long story, but here we go. It all started two years ago ... when i first met my bf we just automatically hit it off!! Even though we only had one date in the beginning, it was alright with me since i thought things would eventually get better for both of us.
Fast forward to a couple of months later in the relationship, we started having issues (his true colors started to show). He was constantly hurting me, being mad at me all the time. Stopping me from hanging out with my friends, telling me who i can be friends with and can't be friends with.
At first i ignored the fact that he did all that because of how much i loved him. Then, he started accusing me for stuff that i have not done. He started accusing me of lying a lot, when i never lied.
Our communication level was horrible. It was so horrible that i felt as if i couldn't talk to him without being mad. I started feeling scared to open up to him about stuff that i've done or so on and so forth. He once embarrassed me in front of my classmates and so on. I could never speak to another guy (even his friends) because he always thought that they liked me and were trying to get with me.
I felt as if I could never be myself around him, because of the way he acted and treated me. Whenever he says something to me, he then switches his answer a couple of minutes after that. Like, if i ask him "baby, are we
still going to the movies later?" He might say "yes" now ... and i ask him again later on that afternoon to reassure myself, and he says "I don't know yet"
He then broke up with me, and told me that he was not going to come back to me ever again. So then i started to move on ... Then all of a sudden, he reappeared and asked me back out. I hesitated because of all the hurt that he has caused me in the past, but i eventually did.
I gave him so many chances, but he has not changed to my liking. I feel as if he's not the man that I fell in love with in the beginning. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not saying that he has not changed at all, because he has. But .... there are some things that are still not working. And i feel that whatever i try to do to better ourselves and the relationship, it will never happen.
I broke up with him so many times because of ridiculous stuff that he does that i don't like. But then, whenever i try to speak to him about it, we can NEVER understand each other or reach a solution.
There was a time when i didn't know how i felt for him. Just like right now, I don't know if i love him, or just care for him deeply as a friend.
This relationship needs a lot of help, and i'm scared. Every time i break up with him and try to move on, we always end up getting back together. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist