My wife has the "7yr itch" and wants a divorce
We've been married 8yrs, We met through a mutual friend on my wife's 21st birthday. I was the DD because I wasn't old enough to drink in the bar. At the time her current boyfriend was in jail, and she was just looking for some male company. Turns out, that even though we didn't get sexual until our 4th or 5th date, we had an attraction to one another.
Some 3 and a half years of dating and I knew I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. Our first son came into this world on our 1st wedding anniversary. (In my opinion, this, although kinda cool, has become more of a problem as we spend the day celebrating our sons birthday and not so much celebrating our wedding anniversary).
Every thing was wonderful starting a family and being on top of the world. 22 months later our 2nd son would grace us with some fun. Watching our kids learn and develop into their own little characters has been so rewarding but in turn took up quite a bit of time away from my wife and I having time for us. When I did get a chance to get free time (after the boys were in bed sleeping or napping) I selfishly would spend time by myself and now that our kids are 5 and 7, and some 3 years or so of not really listening when my wife tells me she is not happy, it happens.
This past Wednesday I stayed home from work because it
was my wife's day off of work. I got the kids ready for school and on the bus, like every morning. I did the dishes that had been sitting in the sink for a couple days, cleaned up the kitchen, and wiped down the countertop. I cleaned up a two day art fiasco the boys had left all over the first floor of the house with paper scraps everywhere. I was on my way to a great day with the wife.
When she woke up and came downstairs I greeted her with a "Good Morning LOVE" The first thing she says is that she can't do this anymore, she wants a DIVORCE. I will admit, I have been neglecting to spend time with her. Other than having sex, I really don't pay enough attention to her. She has been telling me this for a couple of years now. But Wednesday morning it hit me like a freight train. I heard her loud and clear. She says it's too late but I'm not going to back down.
I'm reading a lot of useful things online about what to do and not to do, but I'll be a man and tell you all that I feel like a scared little B!+@# right now. Please let me get your best input. I have already admitted my wrong to her in the most sincere and selfless manner possible, I've been trying hard to give her space even though that's why I'm in the situation I'm in. Anything else I can do to potentially save my marriage?
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist