New career before Marriage?
by Marcus
(Cleveland, OH )
I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years. I am madly in love with her and her daughter. In so many ways she's perfect. She supports me, she pushes me to do better, she's the sweetest and most generous and intelligent person I've ever met. I know she wants to be married and so Do I. But at this moment she's still in school and I don't have a degree either.I have my CDL but I no longer have a desire to work in that field. I wouldn't feel comfortable with asking her to marry me If I didn't have a solid career to support her, the baby and our future children.
I guess my real question is, Should I start from the beginning? Go back to school for 4 years and get a bachelor's degree before I think about marriage? Or should I just ask her now and have a long engagement until we both have solid careers? Or finally should we just get married and continue to go to school and just wait to have another baby? Mind you, I'm 25 going on 26. So I wouldn't finish school until I'm close to 30. She is 21 and is almost finished with her Bachelor's.
On one hand I think that waiting would be best for both of us. But on the other hand I want to just give her a full commitment and big wonderful wedding like I know she deserves.
Is there anyway that I can get my degree fast? Or any other programs that will result in me having a lucrative career that won't require the full 4 years?
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist
418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936
215-813-8633
If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.
Visit The Relationship Forum to get and give advice on your relationship issues.
If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
