New marriage needs help
(Ashevile, NC U.S.A.)
My wife 23 and I 37 have been together for 5 years and married for 8 months. We have a 3 year old son. She left about 3 months ago without warning. She did have a brief affair after leaving with a co-worker and ended that quickly. About a month ago she meet someone and was talking to him for about a week and ended that, and now she is seeing someone else for the past few days.
But during this entire time she has not been willing to let me go. she keeps me close, tells me she does not know what she wants and doesn't know if or when she will come home. She has not moved forward in any way other than talking to other guys. She stays with her mother and sleeps on the couch and we still share all our bills together.
I have tried a few times over the course of this time to tell her to let me go. I did not want to live this way and we need to move forward but she fights me every time and refuses and says she does not want to do that. I sat by her side last week at the hospital for an emergency surgery nothing too major and she is fine but I was the only one she allowed to be there. Then 2 days later I went to visit her and again begged her to let me go and she refused, but now someone has her interest and she talks very little to me and says things like I think want this to be over or I don't know and i am not ready to talk yet, and being cold but still keeping in contact everyday. in fact we have talked everyday since she has left and not just about our son but us and what we are doing.
I know this is not who she is and I know her better than anyone and I know all she ever wanted was her family. so how should I proceed going forward to help her see that and save our marriage?
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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist
418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936