No communication no affection help please

by Candy
(Canada )

I’m with my hubby 16 years married 12 .. 3 kids .. I’m so incredibly lonely in my marriage .. no affection, no intimacy, no romance , it’s crushing my self worth .. he works 7 on and 7 off when he is home .. I cry a lot because having him around me and no intimacy makes me so sad .. he has said so many hurtful things to me , zero communication I have expressed my feelings all the time over the years and he even went to counseling with me but has never changed


He is controlling with money and I feel I’m always in trouble and walking on eggshells around him .. I’m so unhappy it hurts. But he’s an ok dad and great provider, he does make me work full time but his job keeps us comfortable.

I feel bad about wanting to leave because of the my kids and amount of history we have . And he’s not an addict or cheater .. help please

Comments for No communication no affection help please

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Feb 20, 2022
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Emotions - yes
by: Anonymous

Cry and celebrate that you cry. Do not go shopping or enforce solitude in your husband. Talk to your husband many times a day. Love.

Feb 19, 2022
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OK - ILY
by: Responding

Okay,
This one is for me. Sorry I have been so distant but I am very happy to hear that you need my touch. Really, I want to provide that for you and I can't deny that I have been feeling a deep sense of need for you and to be with us in the future.

I love you
Mark

Feb 19, 2022
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That is news
by: Anonymous

Hi,
Sorry you are having trouble but the crying might be life affirming. Can you reach out to him?

Feb 19, 2022
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Heart stirring
by: Anonymous

You describe a situation that sounds you are having a difficult time. Have you tried approaching your spouse with offers for what you miss?

Aug 08, 2020
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Sorry you are dealing with this
by: Anonymous

Hello
It’s so sad to hear this, men should realize that we are needy as women. I hear you say that he is a great provider. Maybe pillow talk and don’t cry inform how you truly feel.

Maybe you need to go shopping alone spend some funds, go out with some decent co workers be are to look cute so he can see. Also if need get a pedi and a manicure.

Go out again if need, and always pray


I hope things get better

Jul 24, 2020
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I Can Relate
by: Anonymous

I can relate. I can’t communicate with my husband because it will turn into an argument. I am tired of it!!! He is stubborn and set in his ways. Our intimacy is not all that. I have suggested counseling and of course his stupid pride won’t allow him to do the right thing. I deserve better. We have been married 9 years and together 11.

To help you out I have asked him to leave because my peace is more important to me. Hope this helps.

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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936

215-813-8633

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"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network