Scared I made a mistake getting married

by Elizabeth
(Ohio)

I am 30 years old and have been married for 2 years.


When I met my husband I knew he was brought up in church and is conservative, but I felt he hid how conservative he is. I am generally a very liberal person and feel people should be allowed to live their lives in a way that makes them happy. I am not bothered by people’s lifestyles choices. My husband is however and has become more of a vocal supporter of Trump. I feel he was not honest about how conservative he is before we got married. I was drawn to him being from a church background because of his loyalty and how he believes a marriage is forever. I was tired of being with men that cheated on me.

But his political views are driving a wedge between us. I wish I could make him change his mind but I can’t. I think I made a mistake marrying him too quickly before I got to know him and was blinded by his kindness that I did not ask the right questions.

I feel like a failure but can’t see our marriage lasting. Has anyone else been in this situation?

Comments for Scared I made a mistake getting married

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 28, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I understand
by: Anonymous

Hello yes been there and sometimes time heals and makes everyone adjust but it is a hard pill to swallow. You can choose to leave but I understand about failure. if you feel its not getting better even after every avenue you have patience to invest in then leave. If you feel his point of view is really bad for you or your future then also leave. It will hurt but time heals most things.

If you stay it will be a hard road depending on your husbands patience if he sticks it through then he might change bit at a time took a long time with my friends husband but she held on she knew she could find better but due to a public marriage she just stuck it thought after tons of fights but its a challenge for her she doesn't feel like she can always been herself. If your husband isn't too bad he might change but no one knows all a gamble. I'm sorry this is happening to you hope you feel better.

Sep 10, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar

by: The Couples Guide

Part of being in a relationship is learning to be tolerant of all the things that irritate you. A marriage shouldn't have to break up over political differences unless someone is trying to force the other person to change. Try talking this out and see if this something that you both can see as an acceptable difference.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network