Sexless Marriage at 27
So me and my wife have been married for almost 4 years now, and she's 2 years younger than me. I'm 27 and she's 25. When we first started dating we loved each other every single day, we would hangout all the time talk all the time and go on dates. On top of all the good things mentioned we had sex not a ridiculous amount but 2 to 4 times in a week. Me being in the military we relocated to Texas, she hates it out here in this specific area we are in. She goes to school full time and has just under a full-time job.
We tell each other we love each other and we do all the little things. But for some reason it's not enough, I haven't had sex in a month and some change. Before that it was 3 weeks. When I bring up and talk about sex she stays quiet as a response to the pressure I put on her when I ask why we don't have sex and if she says something to me it's " I don't know" or " can we talk about this some other time. I got stuff I have to do". she uses these lines to escape from the conversation and not talk about what needs aren't being met by the both of us to fulfill our relationship.
I feel degraded and unwanted as a man in the relationship. I sometimes can't sleep at night because i think I'm losing my wife. this morning I cried for the fifth or sixth time driving to work, thinking I'm going to be alone and not loved or respected in the relationship. I feel empty..
She doesn't want to talk about anything and doesn't want to put forth the effort to talk about why she doesn't want to have sex. She has told me she wants to fix this and have a sex fulfilled relationship. We attended couples counseling but it didn't do anything because we both feel we were going in circles and not getting to the root problem. I have been considering couple counseling with a different person. And individual counseling.
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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist
418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936