She needs to find herself

by John
(Belfry Kentucky )

Hey my name is john and I had a perfect relationship with my ex. we lasted for a year and I want to share our story, if you guys think there's a chance for us or not.


it all started at a bar. I was bored cause I didn't wanna be there and she came up to me with such a energy, the kind of energy you feel when you connect to someone, and it made me bring out my energy. weeks are passing. every Thursday and Friday we are asking each other if we are gonna be at that bar we baca me friends and started hanging out after the bar, just seeing who could go shot for shot and sometimes during the day we would watch movies together. then one night after the bar, we was expressing the feeling we have for each other. then she climb on top of me, cried and said she loves me.

ever since then the relationship was great. it was an amazing year. but the problem started near the end cause it just started felling like she was just going through the flow, cause all she could do was work and come home and see me. we would go out to eat sometimes or watch tv. she would open up and I would give her my advice. I would give a shoulder to lean on.

well out of nowhere on valentines day weekend, she said I need to find myself. we didn't text for a day. I came to her house to talk to her. she just said I need time. it seems every time I take 2 steps forward, I take 3 back. so I told her I respect her decision and me am her would still text, and she would tell me she loves me and made me promise we will make it through. her phone bill comes, she can't pay it. so I worrying about her. she hits me up on twitter, tells me she misses the heck out of me but still needs time. so
she gets her phone turned back on. she's want to hangout on Friday but doesn't come. so I just blew it off but she said she promises to come Saturday but never did. so I took everything she bought me and all her cloths and jewelry to her house. she calls me crying and said why do you hate me? then asks to come see me. I say yes. we talk face to face again. she tells me she thinks I was cheating on her cause she seen I was on FaceTime with a different girl. but the truth is it was my friend Micheal on the girls phone cause I was at college at the time an he just wanted to see what I was into. he used to mess with these girls and there sister.

well we got back together in that week and then she said I'm sorry, I still need time. it don't feel the same. well a week goes by, my dad is getting sick. I tell Micheal about it and he tells her to get a hold of me. she blows my phone up trynna see what's wrong. then after another week goes by, I'm at my friend joeys house and I walk up the street to pick up something for him. I see her so I talk to her about it. I fort of her friends trynna figure out what's wrong. I say is there any chance of us being together? she said idk. then I asked will we ever be back together. she said she don't know. then I asked are we, don't she said yes for now. I ask her if I should move on she breaks down in tears and try's to walk away and said I don't know.

it's been 3 weeks since I've heard from her. I just want to know if there is still a chance or is it done cause I've started to move forward with my life. I just want to know if there is a chance for us cause I'm not waiting anymore.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936

215-813-8633

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network