Sick and tired of being sick and tired

by anonymous

I’ve been married for 7 years and find myself really struggling to stay married. We have two children and the bulk of our household and family responsibilities falls on me. He changes the baby’s diaper once a day and acts like he changed every diaper the baby ever soiled. He doesn’t get up when the baby wakes up. My husband occasionally puts the baby down for naps. He doesn’t do a single household chore. I mean down to the tiniest task he refuses. He will eat a snack and just throw the wrapper on the floor and never pick it up. It could be decomposing into the earth and he still would just step over it. When I ask him to do something he tells me he’s never been the cleaning type and he never will. If I ask him to give the baby a bath because I have other things to do then he says just skip the bath instead of doing it.

Everyone around me tells me they’re concerned for my health and well-being being because I take in everything. They tell me to make him do it but how do I make someone do anything they don’t want to do. He has grown more selfish, snappy, and bitter at the world over the years. On his days off he says he needs to be able to spend all day resting and on days he works he says he needs to rest after and before he goes in.

I feel stuck with some who doesn’t know how to care for me and refuses to listen to anyone telling him he’s wrong. I don’t want my kids to grow up seeing their mom being disrespected like this and think that this is normal. I don’t know what to do.

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Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network