Spending Time Together

by Jack W.
(Milwaukee, WI)

My wife feels that I spend time with her because I have to and not because I want to. When I am spending time with her she always feels that I would rather play video games or spend time online with my friends. I love my wife and want to spend time with her, but I also enjoy spending time with friends playing video games. I feel like I do give her my full attention and have a lot of fun when I am with her, trying to show her that I want to be there with her. I also try to schedule out time when I am hanging out with my friends playing video games so that she knows when I am doing that, but this makes her feel that its a this for that deal. If I don't schedule time and tell her I am playing video games on a whim, she feels that I would rather do that then spend time with her. My wife does not have an outlet like I do as its not nice outside and all of her close friends have moved out of state, and we are in quarantine. How do I get my wife to believe that I do want to spend time with her instead of playing video games?

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936


If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.

Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.

"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network