Stay or go...

by Samantha
(New Zealand)

My hubby and I have been married for five years. He never made anniversaries special. Special occasions I make special for him but he doesn't. He fought with me on the day of our baby shower. He is a narcissist, controlling.

We moved from SA to NZ for a better future for our daughter but I feel he wanted to control, isolate and take me away from my family. We could have moved to the UK where my parents could share in our lives but he chose to move far away and said he disliked the UK. He is very arrogant, one sides and likes to tell me what to wear, how to dress, that I should cut my hair. He hasn't got much time for our daughter as he is always tired.

We went for counselling and he was supposed to make an effort for romance and do things for me. He still doesn't. I had to trust him and let him be more of a man and I trusted him by coming here away from everything. I feel all lonely, despair and questioning if I should go back to the unsafe S.A. to leave him or stay here and try do it on my own. Or try give him an ultimatum to move to the UK. Last year he chucked me out the house for listening to my mom's advice on keeping our daughter on nappies at night instead of listening to him. We nearly got divorced and went back to him on my terms. Nothing has been on my terms but on his terms.

I am questioning my future with him and what to do for the future of my daughter and for me.

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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936


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