Now Offering Online & Office Counseling

Stay or go...

by Samantha
(New Zealand)

My hubby and I have been married for five years. He never made anniversaries special. Special occasions I make special for him but he doesn't. He fought with me on the day of our baby shower. He is a narcissist, controlling.


We moved from SA to NZ for a better future for our daughter but I feel he wanted to control, isolate and take me away from my family. We could have moved to the UK where my parents could share in our lives but he chose to move far away and said he disliked the UK. He is very arrogant, one sides and likes to tell me what to wear, how to dress, that I should cut my hair. He hasn't got much time for our daughter as he is always tired.

We went for counselling and he was supposed to make an effort for romance and do things for me. He still doesn't. I had to trust him and let him be more of a man and I trusted him by coming here away from everything. I feel all lonely, despair and questioning if I should go back to the unsafe S.A. to leave him or stay here and try do it on my own. Or try give him an ultimatum to move to the UK. Last year he chucked me out the house for listening to my mom's advice on keeping our daughter on nappies at night instead of listening to him. We nearly got divorced and went back to him on my terms. Nothing has been on my terms but on his terms.

I am questioning my life..my future with him and what to do for the future of my daughter and for me.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network