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The worst...

by Anonymous

A few years ago I saw a therapist because I was going through some pretty standard mid-life issues. In the first session, after intake, she pulled out the DSM and spent several minutes looking through it before telling me, "I'm going to list you as depressed. Mild because you're not suicidal." That should have been my first clue! Alas, I continued on with her for a few months and experienced the following:

* during a session in which I was complaining about a bad date I had gone on, she said, "Who are you to judge (this person)? You hardly knew each other." And after I objected to her feedback, she said, "That is not a relationship." I guess you can only complain about rudeness from someone you know well??

* during another session she blithely speculated that, because my parents live in Europe and I only see them twice a year, my father might be abusing my mother

* during another session, she openly mocked dissociative identity disorder

* in another, she said (in response to some dating stories) "you did some shi##y things, but I forgive you."

She also confided to me that she sometimes lost sleep wondering if she should get a divorce because her partner reminded her of her mother.

When I finally had enough and fired her, she said "You did this to yourself." A few days later she sent me an email with the salutation "Dearest (my name redacted)" and proceeded to tell me that none of the above was meant to offend. She called it "realistic feedback."

Zowie!

It should be noted that I knew this woman a total of 15 hours.

I reported her to the board, fyi.

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"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
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Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network