Now Offering Online & Office Counseling

To marry, or not to marry, that is the topic

by Edie
(Ohio)

My boyfriend and I Love each other very much. We have each been divorced 3 times, including his 1st being my older sister. He still wants to get married, but not for a year or so, just to make sure it will stick, so to speak. I will marry him if that is what he truly wants, but for me, it's just a piece of paper for the rest of the world.


I know we are committed to each other, and we've had strong feelings for each other since before he married my sister almost 50 years ago. His kids think he's crazy for moving 1800 miles to live with me. My kids are very supportive. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, and I think I may have saved him from drinking himself to death in a loveless marriage.

My query is this: Considering all we've been through, and where we are now, do we get the piece of paper just to keep others from judging us?

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network