Together for 9 years. I was an ass, she wants to leave

by Jesse
(Nebraska)

My wife and I have been married for 5 years together 9. We've been through hell and back together. I used to be the biggest ass to her. I worked long hours and expected her to take care of the kid and do the household chores. I would get mad when stuff wasn't done and so forth. But within the last three years since we've moved to a different town I have been a better father and husband. I still have my demons I'm working on. I still get depressed a lot and take it out on her. I am going to a counselor and have figured out my issues. And have talked to my wife a lot about what I've done and how to be better. But it seems like she still feels trapped in a never ending cycle and doesn't want to be with me. Which I understand.


I love her more than life itself. And am willing to do anything for her to be happy. I'm just looking for advice on what to do to win hr back. She still loves me but at this point doesn't like me. I want her to feel like the queen she really is to me. And to make her feel appreciated for everything she's ever done. Problem is she is severely depressed ever since our son was born. And no matter how much I have been changing for the better. 8t doesn't seem like she sees that I'm giving it my all. And I just want to make her happy and not miserable to be home.

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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936

215-813-8633

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"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network