Unsure how I feel about my marraige
My husband and I have been struggling for a while, and I'm trying to figure out whether our marriage can be repaired or whether I'm reaching the point where I should consider leaving.
One of our biggest issues is intimacy. We go long stretches without sex, and my husband is understandably unhappy about that. The problem is that I genuinely have very little desire for intimacy with him right now. It's not that I'm trying to punish him or withhold affection. I just don't want to be physical in that way.
I've told him that I need space regarding intimacy, but he continues to bring it up and push for more closeness. What makes it harder is that when I say no, he often becomes grumpy, withdrawn, or gives me the silent treatment. That leaves me feeling like I'm responsible for managing his disappointment.
I don't hate my husband. In many ways, I care about him and don't want to hurt him. But I feel increasingly frustrated that my request for space isn't being respected. At this point, even discussions about intimacy make me anxious because I expect pressure or fallout afterward.
We have been married almost 20 years and I have been unhappy for most of it, and sex has been a rare occurrence for most of it. I think I have a lot of resentment towards him due to his lack of partnership when it comes to household duties, lack of follow through on promises and a few other things that come to mind.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you figure out whether the relationship was repairable?
Comments for Unsure how I feel about my marraige
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Gene Kayser uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy system with it's proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship. This is a "nuts and bolts" approach based on 40 years of research & treatment.
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You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
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