Want advice

by Rick
(Miami fla)

I would like to know from various married couples men and women perspectives on the value and the necessity and the importance of informing your Spouse or of any business “” meetings that you have scheduled with the opposite sex on a weekend Over breakfast or lunch which to me translates as a date.

No I’m going to state what happened to me my girlfriend who Used to live with me for five months and as of the last month she Returned To her house where she was living prior to living with me and she’s been there for the last month however we’re still in our relationship and moving to marriage because I am ready to propose to her however I was giving myself a chance to know her a little bit more than our original chemistry we developed and had in the beginning. This past weekend Saturday morning after getting out of my bed because she slept over my house we made love as we always do I dropped her off at her house so she can pick up her car and go to work and pass out some flyers with some girls that she works with. So I dropped her at her car and we said goodbye and she said she was going to do the flyers.

So after I left her I decided to go back with her and help her pass out the flyers because she offered me to do it the previous day I called her she didn’t answer so when I got to her office her car was not there and she was supposed to be at her office picking up the flyers and also meeting the girl that was going to work with her neither one was there so I went down the street to leave and as I passed this restaurant that I’ve eaten it with her I saw her car parked there and since I thought she was with the girl cool we’re supposed to be waiting for her at her office I just stayed outside in my car if you can she come out and they leave and then I will go and get my coffee and my cheesecake because my girl goes to this restaurant on a regular basis. However I wind up sitting in my car outside in the parking lot across the street and when my girlfriend did come out she came out with a guy who I know of and they were walking side-by-side and within three or four steps they both stopped and turned and gave each other a full and complete close hug.

I gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking she was in there with the girl that she was gonna work with and I was feeling so many different emotions upon what I saw because the last time I
dropped her off we were OK and the very next time that I saw her she comes out of the restaurant now with the girl but with a guy that she supposed to be doing business with and she hugged this guy and their faces were close side-by-side in Miami Florida with the corona virus is not only high but this particular guy also just had the corona virus and it was in the ICU and sickly state fighting for his life.

After checking the call logs on my girls phone after I followed her to her office and talk to her about that and I was not nice at all you can imagine that I was livid beyond words and I checked her and when I checked her phone this guy called right before we left the house a girl was in the bathroom getting ready it was a missed phone call however within two minutes of her getting outside of my car and into her car there was a call from her to him and that is how they made up she lied about it when I went to his text message thread to read the conversations that exist between her and him mysteriously History was missing and deleted all of her other threads of text messages were there my girl never deletes her text messages because of her business she likes to keep records of conversations that she has with all the clients so in this case the messages from this guy we’re gone.

She kept it all a secret from me because she didn’t want me to know but when I confronted her she said it was a business meeting and I’m not buying it because if it was a business meeting why not disclose that meeting why would you tell me you’re going somewhere else.

So my question to the community is does anyone who Is Married believe that it is OK to have a ““ business meeting with the opposite sex early in the morning on a weekend and not tell your spouse that you have a meeting with this person and also if it’s business and your spouse support you in your business shouldn’t you have the integrity to let your spouse know or take him and her along with you to attend this meeting with the opposite sex in my case it’s a man and my woman is a real estate broker and she seems to think it is OK for her to go on lunch dates to discuss business me I don’t agree with it because I know human nature and I know how people are you don’t give human nature a possible Opportunity to create inappropriate behavior and so on and so forth which leads to infidelity please someone answer me because I am on fire and I feel majorly disrespected.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.

Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network