Now Offering Online

Couples Counseling

Why did I snoop?

by Lori

Have you ever heard the phrase be careful what you wish for? Well I certainly didn’t wish to find what I have when I snooped on my husbands phone.


We have been together for 19 years and he helped me raise my kids whom he loves like his own. He’s a very manly man by stature, his job and actions. I recently checked his searches on his phone and came across some porn but not just any porn it was shemale porn! I thought maybe it was a mistake and a one time deal but I waited about two weeks and checked again and I found the same thing.

I don’t know how to react? He has a gay brother and a gay uncle but he always makes it clear that he doesn’t understand why they are gay? Why is he watching gay porn? How do I confront him?

Wow I’m in shock! We are in our 40’s and have a very good relationship. He tells me all the time how lucky he is to have me. Idk what to do?

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network