Wife has been texting a work collogue
Following a recent night out my wife came home and spent about an hour in bed next to me texting a male attractive work colleague, I got a glimpse of one of the messages that said "I wished you'd kissed me" after she went a sleep i looked at her phone (something I've never done in 14 years of being with her) i looked at the last text messages that went back a couple of weeks (further but i only saw the last 2 -3 weeks worth) and there was a significant number of seductive messages exchanged as well as some pictures, all of the text culminated into a discussion about the train journey they'd just had together where he was saying he's struggling to control himself with her and her saying he should have just gone for it (paraphrasing)
I confronted her and she was clearly upset but disappointed I felt the need to look at her phone, she's since changed her pin and said she's sorry and it was all just a bit of flirting, I believe that nothing physical has happened between them however now have concerns about the future, my wife has promised to stop the seductive flirty texting but still wants to be friends with this guy.
The weird thing is our marriage has never been better both emotionally and physically, she has been spending time working out and looks better than ever and she said to me this new found confidence with her new role at work and improved physique has drawn attention from male collogues and she is enjoying the attention and feels this is the reason we are closer than ever in our marriage.
I don't think she would ever get to the point where she would want to leave me and our two children but there is now a trust issue that I'm struggling with.
My wife has had it tough over the past few years, she lost her dad to Cancer and her twin brother unexpectedly passed away, i myself had have health issues she's had to support me though so I'm tied between believing this episode was an escape from the troubles in her live vs she's just got bored with the marriage and is looking elsewhere for excitement.
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist