Wife prior relationship

by Phill

My wife has a friend who she knew before she met and married me. They were intimate and if he had asked her to marry her she would have. She stated to me that he considered him a husband. She remains in communication with him via phone and messenger. She also will see him when she visits her family.

My problem is as follows:
When she goes to visit her family, she does not contact me throughout the entire visit. When I call her she is always in a hurry. She has talked about him throughout the entire four years of our marriage, except for the last four months when I addressed this issue with her. One of the things that set me off was a message that she wrote to him. In it she stated that she was dreaming of him and woke up crying because she missed him so much.

Needless to say I am pissed and it is a problem with the relationship. We have talked about this friendship but my "gut" keeps telling me to RUN and get the hell out. Help

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Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network